Amortentia
by LauraRavenclaw
Summary: James Potter has been teasing Lily Evans for as long as she can remember, and she doesn't know how much more she can take. Soon however, Lily realizes that James, who was at first was just an annoyance, actually has more to his character than he lets on. Lily is determined to see this new side of him, and to find out why her heart seems to skip a beat whenever he's in the room.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Characters, names, and places belong to J. K. Rowling.

Lily Evans flopped onto her four poster bed in the girl's dormitory in the Gryffindor tower. Staring at the ceiling, she couldn't seem to get Severus's sneering face out of her head. She could still hear his words in her mind.

 _Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood._

The words repeated over and over in her mind, echoing around brain. She could still hear Potter's arrogant laughter in her ear and she could still feel the stares of everyone boring into her back.

Severus, the only person she trusted had dismissed her with just one simple sneer. Lily was hiding from everyone, but it wasn't long before her friend Alice would find her.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and Alice poked her head into the room.

"That Snape boy is here to see you. He won't go away. He said he was going sleep in the corridor if you didn't show."

Lily sighed again, and wiped away a few stray tears from her face. She smoothed out her skirt, and tucked her fiery red hair behind her ears. Standing, she faced her friend and squared her shoulders.

"You don't have to see him, you know," Alice said, her voice gentle, "you don't owe him a thing. He was the one who-"

Lily cut her friend off with a defiant shake of her head.

"It's your call Lily," said Alice, still looking worried.

Lily made her way down the staircase and crossed the common room to the portrait hole. She stood just inside, and took a deep breath before pushing open the painting of the Fat Lady.

 _No turning back now,_ she thought.

As she climbed out through the portrait hole, Severus stood up straight from where he had been leaning against the wall. His face brightened when he saw Lily, but he turned away and hung his head when he saw her expression.

"Alice tells me you are going to spend the night out here," Lily said.

"I was," said Severus.

"Don't" replied Lily

"I'm sorry," said Severus.

"I'm not interested" Lily replied.

"But I'm sorry!" Severus protested, "I didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out!" Lily looked at her friend. She could see that he genuinely was sorry, but she saw no reason to forgive him. His greasy black hair partially hid his face. He was staring down at the ground, unable to meet her eyes.

"Sev," Lily said after a moment, "I really do think that you're sorry." His face brightened and he looked up at her. "But I can't forgive you for this," she went on. His face fell, and he dropped his gaze once more.

"We've been growing apart. After all, you _are_ in Slytherin. You're bound to make new friends. Besides. I don't like those people you hang out with. They're evil, Sev. That trick they played on that poor girl,"

"It was just a joke," Severus protested.

"That was dark magic Sev. It's bad. I don't like them at all. You call yourselves death eaters. I know that's what you want to do. You all want to go and help You-Know-Who" said Lily, her voice growing louder, "I don't think it's a good idea to waste you're education on dark magic!"

Severus stared at her, his mouth slightly agape. In a softer tone, Lily continued,

"Besides, you call all the other muggle-borns 'mudblood'. Why should I be any different?"

Severus still didn't say anything. After a moment, Lily crossed her arms and turned away from him.

"Fine, if that's what you want," said Severus from behind her, his voice suddenly cold, "I don't need help from a mudblood."

Lily whirled around and glared at her former best friend.

"Fine. Stay away from me then! I don't think I want to be your friend anymore either!" She turned and climbed back through the portrait hole, barely managing to conceal her tears. Behind her, Severus stared at the Fat Lady's portrait, before turning away as a single tear made its way down his pale cheek.

As Lily made her way down to breakfast the next morning, she felt lonelier than ever. Sure she had Alice and the other girls in her dormitory, but she no longer had Severus. He'd been the one to open her eyes to the wizarding world, before she had gotten her Hogwarts letter.

She had trusted him, and cared for him. She'd stood up for him against Potter and her sister, Tuney. She didn't know that she'd feel so empty inside after losing him.

She sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall and picked at her bacon and eggs. Her back was to the Slytherin table, so she failed to notice Severus' lonely face. Lily looked around the hall, before returning morosely to her breakfast.

James Potter and his friends plunked down onto the benches beside her. Remus stared at her sympathetically while Peter eagerly attacked his pancakes. James and Sirius were as boisterous as ever, laughing and teasing. Ignoring them, Lily looked up at the ceiling. Today, it was bright blue with just a few wisps of cloud in the sky.

It was also the last day of O.W.L.s. Lily only had a Charms O.W.L. left that day. Lost in thought, Lily didn't notice when James Potter slid closer to her on the bench and leaned into whisper,

"I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't know. But Snape's a git. Don't pay him any mind. You've got us for friends now." Lily turned, and was alarmed by how close James' face was to her own. She frowned, but hesitated to move away. She suddenly wanted to reach up and smooth his unruly hair away from his face.

Surprised, Lily drew back and put as much distance between her and James as she could manage without falling off the bench. James looked wounded for a moment, but covered it with a devilish grin. Sirius, who had been watching all this time, laughed and pushed James' shoulder.

"Padfoot, you've got a way with the ladies!"

James grinned ruefully, and rubbed his chin.

He was about to reply, but Lily couldn't stand it anymore.

"James Potter, you arrogant toerag! How dare you speak to me. I didn't need you sarcasm!"

"But-" James protested.

"No! I'm tired of you and you friends teasing and bullying everyone who is not part of your little group of friends! Stop teasing me too." Lily whirled around and stormed out of the Great Hall.

Later, as Lily sat her Charms O.W.L, she couldn't help but think back on all the havoc the four boys had caused at Hogwarts. They'd pranked almost every teacher at least twice, and half the Gryffindor house was scared of them. They'd also pissed off McGonagall dozens of times, but they were only punished for about half of their tricks. At one point, they even could have given Peeves a run for his money.

When the written portion of her O.W.L. was finished, Lily made her way out of the Great Hall with the other fifth years. Lily was hurrying along a fifth floor corridor when she abruptly collided into something. Something warm and solid.

Lily lost her footing and would have fallen but warm, thin hands caught her wrists. Sighing with relief, she turned to thank whoever had saved her, but her smile melted when she saw it had been James Potter.

Scowling, she turned and tried to walk away. Then she realized that he was still holding onto her. She glared at him.

His face turned red and he looked away from her fierce, angry gaze. However, he maintained a strong grip on her arm. Lily was saved by Remus, who had also just fished his O.W.L., and was coming down the corridor behind her. He observed the scene in front of him with a bemused expression on his face.

"James," he said," It might be best if you let Miss. Evans go now. I'm sure she has business to attend to."

Lily smiled her thanks to Remus as James' fingers slowly released he wrist. Turning away from both of them, she headed off down the corridor. She could hear both boys whispering behind her back as she left, no doubt discussing what had just happened, but she ignored them. She had more important things to think about.

Later that day, Lily collapsed into an armchair in the Gryffindor common room.

She had barely managed to keep her mind on her last O.W.L. She was sure she had made some mistakes. Nevertheless, Lily was not worried in the slightest. She was waiting for Alice and Remus to come back from their Potions O.W.L.s. She would need their help.

When the two arrived, Lily sat them down and asked for their help. Alice immediately agreed, as she detested Potter as well, but Remus needed a bit more convincing before he too conceded. Alice went off in search of James and Sirius to keep the away. Before Lily headed to the boys dormitory she asked Remus,

"What about Peter?"

"Don't worry about Peter," Remus reassured her, "He does whatever you tell him too. He won't go tattling to James or Sirius."

Lily shrugged and followed Remus up the spiral staircase to the boy's dormitory.

Lily woke on Saturday morning at about 8 o'clock. Climbing out of her four poster, she shuffled around the dormitory, trying to get dressed and not disturb Alice or Mary, who were still sleeping.

Alice woke as Lily was pulling her socks on, and the two girls went down to the Great Hall together.

The ceiling was a cheery blue, but occasional dark clouds crossed the vaulted ceiling. Alice and Lily chose seats opposite each other, and sat down.

Alice seemed to be still half asleep, and Lily was just nudging her awake, when the usual breakfast conversation in the Hall came to a stop. Lily looked up.

Sirius Black held a firm grip on the arm of James Potter, who Lily realized had just been dragged into view.

James' hair was a shockingly bright pink. He walked sheepishly between the house tables, and sat down at the far end the same bench that Lily was sitting on. All the eyes in the Hall were fixed upon James Potter's pink hair.

As he passed by the Ravenclaw table, a dark cloud moved away from the sun, and Potter was bathed in warm, spring sunshine. The light illuminated his hair. The pink curls were sparkling.

Lily stifled a giggle. Alice stared open mouthed at Potter as he sat down next to Sirius.

Gradually, the conversation in the Hall rose again, and Potter visibly relaxed. He even showed his signature cocky grin.

"Lily, you're staring again," Alice said, poking her friend. Lily caught herself and sighed. Alice grinned and reached for a muffin.

Suddenly, a whooshing sound echoed through the Hall as hundreds of owls soared in with that day's mail.

Grateful for an excuse to avoid her friends inevitable questioning, Lily reached for some toast as a tawny owl settled in front of her plate.

The owl carried that Saturday's _Daily Prophet._ Lily reached into her pocket, withdrew 5 knuts, and slipped them into the small brown pouch tied to the owl's leg. The owl then shook out its wings before flying off. Lily was about to open the paper, when another owl, this time a large barred owl, landed in front of her. This one carried a small pink envelope.

Sighing, Lily put down the _Prophe_ t and grabbed the letter. As Lily opened it, a small fountain of glitter spewed from the envelope and into Lily's face. Coughing, she held the letter at arm's length, and squinted at the flowery script in the inside.

 _Dearest Lily,_

 _I'm sorry._

 _Love,_

 _Prongs_

 _P. S. Snivellus is an idiot._

Lily frowned. There was no question as to who the letter had come from, but Lily couldn't think of a way to make him back off. She read the letter again. Even though Severus had dismissed her as his friend, she couldn't help but feel defensive.

Lily was a little pissed. Even if it wasn't about Severus, James was still an idiot.

Without thinking, Lily grabbed a nearby first year's copy of _Hogwarts: A History._ Taking careful aim, she chucked the book as hard as she could in James Potter's general direction.

A sharp pain flared in her bicep, but she watched with a satisfied smirk as it made contact with his jaw. Potter cursed loudly as the weighty volume hit him and he proceeded to fall backwards off the bench. His pink hair shimmered as he fell out of sight.

Alice blinked at her friend in shock before laughing and smiling at Lily.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter looked down the table at Lily. Peter looked rather frightened, but Sirius was grinning. Lily couldn't read Remus' expression, but she didn't care.

"Nice shot, Evans!" Sirius called, before he and Remus went back to devouring their sausages. Peter was still staring at her with a timid expression. Lily met his eyes. After glaring intently at him for a few moments, she suddenly crossed her eyes at him. Flustered, he quickly went back to his food.

Alice was still grinning at Lily as Lily turned away from the boys. Lily was sure she'd won Alice's seal of approval, but she was too focused on her own feelings. The instant she'd released the book, she had felt a sudden pang of something in her chest. Was it...sympathy? For James Potter? Never. But Lily had no way to be sure.

Lily shook her head and went back to her _Daily Prophet._ Scanning the front page, Lily noticed that the list of missing personnel was exceptionally long. Spanning three columns, the list contained hundreds of names. Lily knew that at least a quarter of these people were never going to see their families again.

The thought made her stomach churn. She searched the list for any names she recognized, but she found none.

Lily glanced up. Across the hall, she noticed that Severus' usual spot was once again empty. Then she had to scold herself. She had promised herself that she wouldn't care about him anymore.

But Lily knew deep within her, that she would never stop caring a little bit. Just a smidge, but it would be enough.

Sighing, Lily opened the newspaper, and found an article about a relatively famous wizard, who had recently published a new book on magical creatures. This wizard claimed that magical creatures should be protected instead of hunted. Lily wasn't sure if she agreed with him. Next to the article were several photos of these creatures. Some were quite adorable, but others looked rather terrifying.

Suddenly, Lily noticed that James Potter was making his way down the table toward her. In his hand, he held the book she'd thrown. Lily lifted the paper to shield her face, and did her best not to notice him. James sat down on the bench next to Alice, who promptly groaned and left the Hall, telling Lily she'd meet her later to study or something. Lily sighed inwardly, hoping Alice would come back. She didn't want to face James on her own.

James slid the book across the table, saying,

"I believe this belongs to you?"

Lily ignored him, pretending to be engrossed in her article. James didn't say anything, and instead drummed his fingers on top of the thick volume. Lily was doing her best to ignore him, but the constant sound was driving her crazy. Not to mention that it was obvious that James Potter wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Finally, Lily couldn't stand it.

"The books' not mine. It belongs to her," Lily pointed at the scared looking first year.

"Oh," said James, sliding the book in her direction. Still, he refused to leave. His pink hair sparkled in the light, and Lily found herself staring at that instead of her paper. Noticing that her attention was focused on his hair, James grinned.

He lifted his hand, and ran it through his shaggy locks, making a face like he was in a commercial. He gestured to something imaginary with his hands. He was about to say something to Lily, when his hand bumped into Lily's goblet of pumpkin juice. The goblet tipped and orange liquid was splashed over Lily's plate and shirt.

"You idiot!" She screamed at James, "What are you doing?!"

Pulling out her wand, Lily tried to siphon the juice out of her sweater, but the stain only got worse. Swearing at Potter again, Lily aimed her wand at him. Before she could do anything, though, a sharp voice rang through the hall.

"Potter! Evans! What do you think you're doing?!"


	2. Chapter 2

Lily and James both started as Professor McGonagall's voice rang out through the Hall. Up and down the Gryffindor table, people were turning to look at them. Lily turned red and sank lower in her seat, but James grinned and looked up at Professor McGonagall.

The older witch came striding towards them, and her face was unreadable when she finally came to a halt. She surveyed the scene, James' pink hair and Lily's stained sweater. She sighed and said

"Mr. Potter, what's going on?"

"Uh, nothing, Professor" James responded, "I was just returning a book to Miss Evans, when her juice tipped and spilled on her sweater. And may I say you are looking fine today?"

Lily stared.

"Mr. Potter, I'm afraid that I don't believe you. However," she said, turning to Lily, "I saw what happened with the book." Lily groaned inwardly.

"As much as I'd like to give you detention, I'm afraid I must let you off with a severe warning. I know times can be difficult, but we must not turn against each other. Miss Evans,"

McGonagall waved her hand in a clear signal of dismissal. Breathing a sigh of relief, Lily stood and darted out of the Great Hall. She made her way up to the Gryffindor Tower in search of Alice and a new shirt. Not finding her friend, Lily grabbed her book and a blanket, intending to take a break by the lake.

Walking quickly, she went down the marble staircase and through the small door to its immediate right. She found herself in a relatively narrow corridor, with large paintings lining the walls. Stopping at a large one that depicted a large bowl of fresh fruit, Lily reached up and tickled the pear. It began to giggle and squirm, and it soon became a shiny door handle. Lily seized it and pulled open the door. In the kitchen, many small house elves were at work, their tiny ears flapping.

As she entered, they all looked up. She smiled at them, and most of them went back to work, completely ignoring her. One however came up to her and said,

"What can we do for you, Miss?"

"I'd like some cheese and crackers," Lily replied, "and maybe some tea cakes." The tiny elf bowed, and disappeared. Soon however, Lily saw it come back, bearing a large picnic basket.

"Thank you," Lily said, taking it. The elf bowed again, and returned to his work as Lily left.

Once she was out in the sunshine, Lily smiled, letting the warm light fall onto her face. She spotted Alice reading under their favorite tree by the water, and as Lily made her way across the grounds and past the greenhouses, she saw many other students were out enjoying the fine weather.

Plopping the basket down next to Alice Lily spread the blanket out and sat down. Alice moved so she was also sitting on the blanket, and the two girls read in silence for a few moments, the still air punctured by the occasional turning of a page. A cool breeze blew off from the lake, and Lily was so engrossed in her book, that she didn't hear Alice at first.

"I'm hungry, Lily, and I know you brought food," Lily looked up and grinned. She motioned to the basket and Alice pulled it towards her.

As Alice set the food out on little plates, she said,

"So what happened with Potter?" Lily closed her book with a sigh and looked out across the lake.

"He was as arrogant as always," she responded, "He tried to return the book, but it didn't belong to me. Then he just sat there drumming his fingers on the table. Who does that? Then, as if that and the note wasn't enough, he spilled juice all over my sweater!"

Alice looked at her friend sympathetically, munching on a cracker. Before Alice could say anything however, Lily opened a package of cauldron cakes, and turned towards the castle.

In the warm spring weather, the castle's turrets and towers stood out against a bright blue sky. The sun reflected off its many windows, and the front doors were flung open wide to bring a warm breeze into the castle.

Lily was glad that O.W.L exams were over, and that the weather was once again nice. The dreary weeks of rain in April had kept her inside for too long.

Suddenly, Alice's voice brought Lily out of her reverie.

"Here comes trouble," she said, her tone disgusted. Lily turned. Striding across the grounds came James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They made their way down to the edge of the water, and sat under a tree, near enough to Lily and Alice that they could hear their conversation. However, the three boys didn't seem to notice the two girls, concealed farther up the bank.

The boys were talking about Quidditch.

"So," said Remus, "who are you playing next?"

"Hufflepuff," said James, "but they're not that good. They've got a horrible keeper, that Turner bloke."

"If Hufflepuff wins by thirty points, they win the cup. If Gryffindor wins by less than ninety, they'll still be second place. Gryffindor has to win by more than ninety points to..."

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to her book. Alice continued to munch on food, brushing away occasional crumbs from the pages of her book. A little while later, Lily closed her book. With the food gone, and quiet air interrupted by a large group of fourth years, Lily decided to go back up to the castle.

She and Alice were packing up the blanket when Lily heard her name. Glancing around, startled, she realized it had come from farther down the bank where the three boys were sitting.

"...about Lily Evans?" said Sirius, a smile in his voice. There was silence and then someone sighed.

"She doesn't like me because of what we did to Snivellus," said James.

"Actually, you were the only one who did anything. We just watched" replied Sirius.

"As I recall," came the quieter voice of Remus Lupin, "Sirius said he was bored."

"So what?" asked Sirius.

"James only did it because you said that," replied Remus. There was silence. Then,

"And to impress Lily too, I'm sure," said Remus. Lily clenched her hands into fists. How dare they torment her friend for their pure entertainment? And to impress her? Yeah right. Then, Lily's face fell. Severus was no longer her friend.

Alice laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. Picking up the basket, Alice motioned for Lily to follow her. The two picked their way along the bank. Lily could barely see where she was going. Her eyes were blurred with fresh tears, and her mind was on the three boys.

Suddenly, they burst out of a bush and came face to face with the three, now four, boys themselves.

James was playing with the snitch he'd nicked from a Quidditch game, and Sirius was lounging about with his head on Remus' legs. Peter was sitting cross legged in front of James, watching as James let the snitch fly a few feet away before catching it. When the two girls appeared, James looked up rather quickly. The snitch almost flew away before he managed to grab it. Remus looked up from his book, and Sirius' head came up off his friends legs. When Peter noticed them, he gave a frightened squeak and stood up hastily, staring between Lily and James.

Lily turned to her friend. Alice wore a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

For a few moments, no one said anything. Then Lily sighed and grabbed Alice by the arm. As she pulled her friend away from the boys, a random though occurred to her. Turning back, she said,

"Remus, can you study with me tomorrow afternoon? I'm not sure I understand the concept of transforming water into another liquid and..." she trailed off, but Remus immediately seemed to understand what she was doing. Rolling his eyes, he nodded.

"How about at 3 o' clock in the library?" he suggested.

Lily grinned.

"It's a date!" James looked outraged. Sirius grinned. Lily smirked and flounced up the bank to where her friend stood laughing.

"What?!" James yelled after her, "You'll go on a date with Remus but you won't even say hi to me?!"

"That's right, you idiot!" Lily yelled back, "Remus doesn't torment other people because his friends are bored!"

James didn't reply. Not turning back to look at anyone, Lily and Alice went back up to the castle.

When they got inside, Alice left Lily to look for Mary, so they could talk. Lily went up to the Gryffindor Tower and lay down on her bed, thinking hard.

Yes, James fancied her. It was obvious, but what was up with the rest of those boys. Not even mad anymore, Lily was genuinely curious. Sirius followed James and vice versa, but Lily never understood why someone as respectable as Remus Lupin would hang out with a bunch of trouble makers.

Lily knew Severus' theory about him, but she didn't see Remus as particularly dangerous. She quite liked him, and she wished she'd asked him to study with her before this.

Lily lay lost in thought and soon fell asleep.

The rest of the year at Hogwarts passed peacefully. Unfortunately Lily wouldn't get her O.W.L. results until the summer, so she was occasionally worried she might get kicked out of Hogwarts, but Alice seemed not to care. To take Lily's mind off her studies, the last trip to Hogsmede would be taking place soon.

Lily, Alice, and Mary planned to go together and enjoy their last holiday before they had to go back home.

The day of the trip was dark and rainy, and Lily groaned when she got up and saw the sky. Pulling back the dormitory curtains, she began to dress and soon headed down to breakfast. Alice was already eating, and looked up as Lily sat down.

"Lovely weather, don't you think," she said, spearing another sausage with her fork. Lily merely grunted in reply, and reached across her friend to grab a muffin.

Nonetheless, Lily, Alice, and Mary bundled themselves up and grabbed umbrellas when it came time to leave. As they made their way down to the entrance Hall, they could see they were also not the only ones willing to brave the dreary weather for one last trip.

The rain beat down on the students as they walked down to the village, and soon Lily was soaked to the skin. The three girls ducked under the purple awning of the first shop they came to and debated what they would do with the rest of their visit.

"Well," said Mary, "We can't stay outside, so let's just do something weird."

"What?" asked Lily.

"Let's just do something lame like visit as many stores as we can and spend all of our pocket money," said Alice, rolling her eyes. They agreed, and soon the three girls were darting in and out of shops, buying useless junk.  
They soon stopped at Three Broomsticks for a drink. After downing three butterbeers and eating a large amount of Zonko's sweets, Lily was feeling a little drowsy.

As the three stepped out of the pub, they realized that it had finally stopped raining, though the sky was still covered in thick grey clouds.

Making their way up High Street, the three came face to face with none other than James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

"Hey, Evans!" said Sirius with his trademark smirk. Lily pointedly ignored him. Brushing past them, she herd them teasing and laughing. Soon, however, Lily heard the word Snivellus, followed by even more raucous laughter. Lily saw red. Ever since the incident at the lake, the boys had picked on Severus even more frequently than usual. As Severus had denounced Lily's friendship, she had to stand and watch as Severus was humiliated and teased, time after time. Though they were no longer friends, Lily couldn't help but still feel attached.

Whipping out her wand, she whirled around and pointed it at James. Alice quickly followed suit. Surprised, James just stood there, but Sirius also removed his wand from his pocket. Peter fumbled with his, before dropping it on the ground.

Lupin looked on, alarmed. Lily glared at James and he looked back at her intently. Sirius winked at her.

Lily growled and raised her wand.


End file.
